Joe Biden - Dan Quayle's Brother By Another Mother

We are lucky to have Joe Biden - an expert in so many areas - as the Vice President.

Joe on Math:
"Look, John's last-minute economic plan does nothing to tackle the number-one job facing the middle class, and it happens to be, as Barack says, a three-letter word: jobs. J-O-B-S, jobs." [use your fingers Joe]

Joe on Transportation Policy:
Joe on the NJ Transit tunnel - “Look, this is designed, this totally new tunnel, is designed to provide for automobile traffic,” Biden said. “It’s something, as you know, up your way, that’s been in the works and people have been clamoring for for a long time.” Slight problem Joe - it is a tunnel for trains.

Joe on Foreign Policy:
When we kicked -- along with France, we kicked Hezbollah out of Lebanon, I said and Barack said, "Move NATO forces in there. Fill the vacuum, because if you don't know -- if you don't, Hezbollah will control it." [uh, Joe - Hezbollah came to Lebanon in he 80s and has been their since - check this out].

“Israel can determine for itself – it’s a sovereign nation – what’s in their interest and what they decide to do relative to Iran and anyone else.” July 5, 2009, Biden green lights Israel to attack Iranian nuclear plants - July 9, 2009 Obama un-green lights Israel - seems Biden is a tad confused about Obama's foreign policy.

Joe the Constitutional Scholar:
Vice President Cheney has been the most dangerous vice president we've had probably in American history. The idea he doesn't realize that Article I of the Constitution defines the role of the vice president of the United States, that's the Executive Branch. He works in the Executive Branch. He should understand that. Everyone should understand that.[psssst, Article II, Joe, Articles II - Article I is the legislative branch - how long where you a senator?]

Joe Channelling Yogi:
“If we do everything right, if we do it with absolute certainty, there’s still a 30 percent chance we’re going to get it wrong." [All I can say is 'wow'].

Joe Wanting to Sleep On The Couch:
My wife, Jill, who you’ll meet soon, who’s drop-dead gorgeous. My wife, Jill, she also has a doctorate degree, which is a problem.

Joe And His Close Friends:
Joe on Obama "A man I'm proud to call my friend. A man who will be the next President of the United States — Barack America!"

Biden on Obama - “Axelrod really wanted me to do this on teleprompter — but I told him I’m much better when I wing it. … I know these evenings run long, so I’m going to be brief. Talk about the audacity of hope. … President Obama does send his greetings, though. He can’t be here tonight — because he’s busy getting ready for Easter. (Whisper) He thinks it’s about him. …"

Joe On History:
"When the stock market crashed, Franklin D. Roosevelt got on the television and didn't just talk about the, you know, the princes of greed..." [FDR wasn't president when the stock market crashed in 1929].

Joe Being Honest:
"Hillary Clinton is as qualified or more qualified than I am to be vice president of the United States of America. Quite frankly, it might have been a better pick than me." [can't argue with that].

Sensitive Joe:
"Stand up, Chuck, let 'em see ya." Remark to Missouri state Sen. Chuck Graham - who happens to be in a wheelchair. Columbia, Missouri, Sept. 12, 2008.

Joe on Race Relations
"I mean, you got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy."

Joe the Palin Expert:
Biden on Palin..."I have no idea what her policies [are]. ..“She is diametrically opposed to everything Hillary stands for.” [if you don't what her polices are, how can you know what she is opposed to?]

Joe On Patriot
Biden on taxing the wealthy "“it’s time to be patriotic … time to jump in, time to be part of the deal, time to help get America out of the rut.” If giving is a sign of being patriotic, the Joe is, hmmm how to say this - not very - "Despite income ranging from $210,432 - $321,379 over the ten-year period, the Bidens have given only $120 - $995 per year to charity, which amounts to 0.06% - 0.31% of their income." Go Joe!

Joe On Not Causing Panic.
Biden calming Americans on swine flue "I would tell members of my family, and I have, I wouldn't go anywhere in confined places right now. It’s not that it’s going to Mexico. It’s you’re in a confined aircraft. When one person sneezes, it goes all the way through the aircraft. That’s me. I would not be, at this point, if they had another way of transportation, suggesting they ride the subway.”